Swimsuit Shopping

What has this got to do with infertility? Well, that’s the problem, it really shouldn’t.  However in need of some swimmers for some proper swimming (no bikinis allowed) I found myself shopping for a swimsuit recently.  I appreciate that this isn’t necessarily a great prospect for most people – maybe models enjoy it – but what I found brought me close to a breakdown.

It’s no secret that I’ve put weight on over this process, I can’t fit into many of my clothes right now, but actually seeing myself in a swimsuit was mortifying.  To make it worse I had to try on everything potentially suitable in 3 shops before I found one that was passable.  The very last one I tried on!

I might well have put weight on if not in the process, I tend to fluctuate a bit, but I just can’t imagine I would have put on this much if it wasn’t for the treatment, the miscarriage and the comfort eating since.  So it’s just another area of my life that infertility is affecting.  I didn’t need to think about all that whilst out shopping but it creeps up on you at the most unexpected moments and reminds you what your life has become over the last few years.

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